Where has the summer gone?

Its August. I'm disgusted at the thought.

"I Wipe My Own A$$"...

One of my all time favorite movies is Big Daddy. Adam Sandler movies can be pretty corny and ridiculous, but I love Big Daddy. I love when little Frankenstein yells in court "But I wipe my own ass!"...

So this morning M has another poop issue (AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH) and I'm pumping and tell her she has to wait for me to finish before I can clean her. Well, she enlists the help of A. M sends A to get the wipes (M is on the toilet). After a few minutes, M comes running out "I did it! I wiped myself! I'm all clean!" And all I could think of was Frankenstein.

Walking Buckets...

C is 6 months old! HOLY CRAP! He is a tank, weighing in at 18.1 lbs, friggin love it! As I'm leaving the pediatrician's office with him, Todd calls...

Todd - "When you take them to the store, do they listen to you?"

Lauren - "Well, where did you take them, and did you put them in a carriage?"

Todd - "We were at Lowes, and I thought I was being nice letting them run around."

NEVER let them run around, its never a good idea. (Only time its a good idea is rainy days at the mall with other kids). Anyway, Todd is actually trying to get help from someone at Lowes because he's got a few home improvement projects to complete. He is talking to nice gentleman who gives the girls two giant buckets to sit on while they grown-ups continue their conversation. Well, Todd and the man turn around to look at something and when they turn back, the girls are gone, and the buckets have moved. And then they move again. My darlings were hiding under the buckets and running around with buckets over their heads.

A discovered a diving board today. Good times. After watching her little sister master it, M decided she liked the diving board too. Oh man.

My MAC is pissing me off

I've been trying to upload videos for 2 days. My MAC is being a bitch for the first time ever and not allowing me to do so. The little thing on the bottom keeps jumping up & down telling I need upgrades. However, that requires a password and I have NO IDEA how to go about that. Great.

Tonight at dinner I finally just turned my head, looked out the window and laughed because of the insanity surrounding me. C was sitting in his bumbo covered in sweet potatoes but smiling away. A was again throwing her food on the floor and refusing to eat it. M was attempting to lick the edges of the butter dish and Todd says to her "I am way past my thresh hold for stupidity tonight, knock it off" as he moved the dish away from her - thats when I lost it. Then A ended up under the table talking to herself "Bad Daddy, moving the butter..." as she is coloring the power cord to the MAC.

I only choked on my food once from laughter.

Its been awhile...

So we've had a busy couple of weeks.

Lots of time spent in Manomet. Lots of cuts and scrapes on the kiddos feet and legs because of rocks on the beach.

A has decided she would like to get serious with the potty training. My lazy ass just has to commit to it.

C has decided he will no longer sleep through the night. I thought he was just hungry. Started feeding him food (he loves sweet potato) however, he is still getting up twice every night. Great.

M still won't poop. I have no words because none of them are nice.

Todd & I went back to Colorado and had a great time with some old friends. Denver is awesome and I wish there was an ocean there and my family was closer so we could live there.

We've decided to hire a realtor/stager and put the house on the market. We're going to keep our fingers crossed, sell this little house, and then move in with Linda & Paul while we find what we need...

She's so sweet...

A was having a serious nightmare last night. I flew out of my bed so fast. Oh the screeching! Todd beat me to her and was cuddling her and trying to calm her down. She was crying and telling us she was scared. So M pipes up from her bed "Don't be scared, I'll protect you..."

Sometimes the things they say...

Big Sister Helping Out!

Thank A!

Just sit...

* WARNING THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS...

My 3 year old who refuses to poop on the potty has soiled 5 pairs of panties in the last 36 hours because she tries to hold it in. So by forcing herself to hold it in, she squeezes out quarter sized pieces of SH*T. Its driving me mad. So about 30 minutes ago, she is supposed to be napping and she comes out and says "I pooped". When I realized she was talking about a piece that squeezed out, I told her she had to sit on the potty until the big stuff came out.

She didn't like this idea. She was mad at me and was on the toilet basically telling me to take a hike. So I went for the suppository. She needed it, there was clearly a brick up there trying to get out. So I give her the suppository and put her back on the toilet. She was PISSED. Screaming at me, sobbing, you would have thought her dog died (she doesn't have a dog). I told her to relax and let the poop out because if she poops on the potty she would get a toy. She told me she didn't want a toy.

Poor thing was trying to fight the suppository. I shut the bathroom door and left her alone because if I stayed I would have been laughing in her face. She was yelling "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as the suppository was clearly starting to work. And she kept on yelling as she tried to fight it. SOBBING & YELLING. YELLING & SOBBING. And then LAUGHTER. Like excited laughter.

"Mommy! I did it! I pooped on the potty!"

Me - "Great!" and I went in for a high five. Then asked her if she thought she could do that every time.

M - "No"

Then she went to her room to get a new pair on panties and came running back to the bathroom because the suppository wasn't done yet. Poor thing had poop running down her legs and I had to clean it. My own fault, I gave her the damn suppository.

Breakfast time...

...Went something like this...

A: "I want Krispies!"
M: "Me too!"
Mommy: "OK"
A: "I want Krispies NOW MOMMY!"

Mommy proceeds to make 2 bowls of cereal...

M: "I want the pink bowl!"
A: "I WANT KRISPIES NOW MOMMY!"

Mommy brings bowls to table.

A: "NO! You can't eat with me!" as she hurls the pink bowl across the room and Krispies go flying everywhere.

Its 6:41PM...

...and I'm still in my pajamas.

When will we be healthy...

We spent Monday night at the beach. Since kids were sick we knew we wouldn't be going to preschool Tuesday morning and I was exhausted and was not about to drive home in traffic Monday night.

Monday night was a little better than both Saturday and Sunday night. No one was up sick, but M had a few nightmares. Waking up screaming scaring the crap out of me and my parents. My mom and I tag teamed the first nightmare and my dad handled the second one.

Tuesday morning A wakes up with a fever. Fine. Gave her motrin, cleaned up the cottage and started to drive home. 20 minutes into our trip A is in the back seat moaning and whining complaining about her tummy hurting. I thought we were going to have more vomiting so I pulled over and took her out. When I took her out she was trembling, just shaking and shaking, a bit odd. I was nervous, called the pediatrician and they assured me it was just her body fighting off the fever. Put her back in the car and kept driving and she kept whining.

Got home and took her out of the car and she was on fire, temp was up to 103.9 - called the pediatrician again and got an appointment. Then I realized I left M's eye medicine at the beach. Awesome. Had the hubby call the pediatrician because I didn't want to call again. They sent in another prescription.

Took A to the doctor, they took blood and put a cath in and got a urine sample. If you know A, you know it took 3 of us to hold her down. Left the doctor and drove to CVS to pick up M's medicine and the pharmacist won't give it to me because the system shows they filled it the day before. I had to explain I was an idiot and left it at the beach house. She explained to me she had to call the insurance company and get the override approved, I told her I'd be back.

Pharmacist called me an hour later to inform me that my insurance company doesn't cover "lost prescriptions" - good to know. However if I have AAA I can get a discount on the meds when paying out of pocket. So we go back, we go through the drive through and C is screaming the whole time. I hand the gentleman my flex spending card and my AAA card and he charges me full price. I immediately ask why as I was told over the phone if I presented my AAA card I would get a discount. He looks at me and asks "Do you have a AAA card?" ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU STUPID ASS! I smiled and said "You're kidding right? I just handed it to you, did you even look at it?" I got an apology and it took him about 10 minutes to figure everything out. Mind you there are 4 cars behind me and we're in the middle of a thunder storm and C is still screaming.

A was back up to 103.7 by 6PM and again at 1AM but she seems good this morning and will not let me go near her with the thermometer. Maybe I should buy a second one to take oral temps.

So much for a relaxing weekend...

Happy Memorial Day!

We're at the beach, we love the beach! Community living with the extended family is awesome because my kids are spoiled by everyone who loves them so much.

However, by Saturday afternoon M had a fever of 102.9 - good times. Started pumping her full of fluids and motrin. She was up all night Saturday night, eventually having an accident on the bedroom floor.

If M was sleeping, A was up because she was having nightmares. She was yelling in her sleep "No! I don't want to wash my hair!" And then "No M! Get off of me!".

And then if both girls were asleep, C would decided he was hungry and was demanding to be breastfed.

Sunday was better. M's fever went down to 102.3, everyone took a great nap from the lack of sleep the night before and I even got to lay in the sun and get some much needed color.

Then Sunday night came and everyone went to bed happy and healthy. Yeah right. A decided she would stay up all night puking. WTF. And then this morning M woke up with pink eye.

Happy Memorial Day!

Please shut the door...

When I was about 10 it dawned on me that when my mom had to "powder her nose" she always left the door open. One day I asked her why she did this. She informed me it was habit because when we were little she couldn't shut the door for fear something would happen to us. Easier to have the door open and watch our every move. Now I was only about 10 when we had this conversation and of course I thought she was ridiculous.

Fast Forward 20 years later and I'm "powdering my nose" with the door open everyday because my kids are crazy. Awesome.

Foot Note - soon after our conversation, Linda started shutting the door. She no longer keeps the door open (unless she's babysitting my kids)

It's been a year.

So about a year ago, I forced M into potty training. We found out we were expecting number 3 and in no way wanted 3 kids in diapers. So M became potty trained. She did really good. Its been a year! Wow. Except she won't poop on the potty. I can count on one hand how many times she has been successful pooping on the potty. Everyone said to wait, she'll get there, don't force her, don't embarrass her etc ect.

So she and I had an understanding. If she had to poop she was to get a pull-up and do her deed. I wouldn't help her. Of course I always had to help clean her up. It dawned on me a few weeks back to just tell her there were no more pull-ups. So she and I talked and we agreed (yes I negotiate with my 3 year old) that we would not be buying any more pull-ups. When this stash runs out, we're pooping on the potty! She was excited, she let everyone know.

We've been pull-up free for about 5 days. M has shit her pants twice and has not bothered to try and poop on the potty. I'm so mad at her, seriously and truly so angry with a 3 year old. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Such a Tough Life...

C taking a nap on the couch. Such a relaxing morning while his sisters are at school :)

Who needs a swing-set!

If you've been to our house and played in our backyard, you know we don't lack things to play with. HUGE swing-set, bicycles, power-wheels Jeep, balls, bubbles etc etc...So you can imagine my confusion while enjoying a beautiful Sunday morning in the yard with my family as I watched A roll a giant trash barrel across the yard and then climb into it. Then she invited M to join her. Needless to say both children got a bath before lunch. Now that's a sign of a good morning outdoors.

Thanks for your help...

I work one (sometimes 2) days a week for my dad. They money's great and I call Friday's "MY DAY OFF" - meaning no kids!! Well, I don't get out of work until at least 6 PM, and then I have to collect the kids from my mom's and then get home. We're lucky if we're home by 8 PM, which means bed time is always a little later that night. Last night was no exception and when I walked in the door with the kids at 8, Todd was already home (THANK GOD).

I'll admit, when I saw him, I checked out. I had already mentally decided that he was going to be dealing with the kids, I just didn't tell him :) So as soon as we're in the house, M decides she needs chocolate milk. She goes to the pantry to grab the Nestle Quick and brings it to her father. Next thing I know..."LAUREN, HELP! WHAT DO I DO?!?!"...

M had dropped the container of Nestle Quick, and for lack of a better word, it EXPLODED all over the floor and all over M. She was surrounded by a cloud of chocolate dust. What did I do???? LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS. Todd was literally tripping over himself as he tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation, A was staring at her sister in awe and then decided she wanted to join in and jumped in the cloud. That lasted all of 2 seconds before Todd pulled her out. I'm still off to the side laughing. I tried to take a picture and literally wouldn't let him clean her up until I thought I got a good shot, but I took the pic on my blackberry and the system was full or some crap and I didn't get the shot. And the video camera wasn't charged so that depressed me even more.

Still laughing. And then Todd decides the best course of action was to vacuum M. Great idea actually. At first M was HORRIFIED, but then she laughed and laughed. She enjoyed it so much she started bawling when Todd was finished because he didn't vacuum her socks. Still laughing in corner and giving a friend the play by play over BBM.

Todd did great! Even washed the kitchen floor after he finished vacuuming. When all was said and done, he looks at me and says "Thanks for your help"- but we were both laughing.

What is that smell...

A few weeks back I invested in a $0.99 spray bottle to help with A's unruly hair. Great investment, makes "styling" the hair so much easier. Well, M & A LOVE the spray bottle and LOVE to play with it, which usually results in very wet children and very wet floors. So I TRY to make sure it is out of their reach, but that doesn't always happen.

Its been kind of chilly here in New England the past few days, and I refuse to put the heat back on. So they have a high tech space heater in their room for nap and bed time. LONG STORY SHORT...its nap time, C and I are on the couch feeding (I swear that's all we do these days) and I can smell something funny. Its a smell I recognize, but its not registering in my brain quickly enough (may have still been slightly hung over from Burgoyne's wedding).

When I finally do register the smell, I toss poor C on the couch and RUN into the girls room. I find my little angels spraying the space heater and laughing hysterically as it smokes. FML. So no more space heater, they can freeze. And how the hell did A get out of the crib without me knowing? This could be serious trouble.

And just to clarify, it really is a high tech space heater, its more or less a fan that blows hot air. Its not like one of those box looking things with heated coils, I would never leave anything like that around for my angels to burn themselves. And lets face it, if I did, my house really would burn down.

I'm thinking I need a toy too...

Took A to Target this morning so that she could pick out a toy. If you poop on the potty, you get a toy! As we're driving to Target, M is trying to rationalize to Todd and I why she thinks she should be able to get a toy too. We just kept telling her when she pooped on the potty she could pick out a toy. Well then we get in Target and she starts trying to influence A's decision on what toy to get. A stood her ground and got exactly what she wanted, a new baby doll. Very cute.

Happy Mothers Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there! I'm celebrating by nursing a hangover. Not fun with 3 kids.

We had a busy weekend, but it was fun! A pooped on the potty! She beat M to the punch and is going to the store to pick out a toy later. Maybe that'll light a fire under M's ass and she'll join in the fun.

C is rolling over like a champ! No more guilt!

Another Baby!

My BFF had a baby yesterday, her first. Welcome baby MJB! What a day! I was scrambling around all morning trying to figure out how I was going to get into MGH to see her! But I have an AMAZING support system who is always willing to help me out. So much so that I made it into the hospital twice yesterday! Special shout out to my hubby, my mom and my sister in-law for making that possible.

I'm going to be really ambitious and try to get in there tonight. I may even take M with me. I told her if she's good all day she can come. Anyone want to take bets on whether or not she gets to come?

She did it!

Pictures tell the story. I don't know who initiated the mess, but I'm sure they both had something to do with it.

Good Job!

Its been a great couple of days for M. She has been sleeping without a pull-up for 4 nights now. Wakes up dry every morning and goes right to the potty! Yesterday she finally managed the swings. She was psyched and I ran to get the video camera. However, I had the camera on the wrong setting and the file is too large to download on the blog. But I got it up on facebook if you're that interested. And then this morning, instead of coming into our room and waking us up, she got dressed and climbed into A's crib. When I awoke at 8 and found them playing in the crib I asked M why she didn't wake us up and her response was "Well, A was sad so I got in her bed and made her happy until you came to get us." I told M that was really nice of her. She looked at me, rolled her eyes and said "I know..."

So my husband posed the children and snapped a photo. Uncle J is doing a great job holding C up (not really). Shoppers Cafe, my children's favorite play ground!

Where did you get the Sharpie?

Today is a busy day. A good friend is getting married next weekend, so we're celebrating her bachelorette today and tonight. Well, logistics were going to be tricky with babysitters, nap time, and me trying to be in Boston by 3. So, the best plan of action was to bring the kids to my mom's and nap them there and I could get ready while they napped.

So I'm hustling to pack everyone up to get to Nanny's. I put the girls in the car. They like to do "the top buckle" of their car seats by themselves. So I tell them to do their buckles while I get C. So, I go back in the house to get C and back out in the car M has buckled herself into A's carseat. No big deal because A is now psyched to sit in the "way back" of the minivan by herself. And A decides to celebrate by writing all over the interior of my 9 month old car with a Sharpie. I WAS IN THE HOUSE FOR 30 SECONDS.

AND A QUICK UPDATE FROM MY EARLIER POST - M threw the toy at C while he was sleeping. She blamed it on A but the truth came out while I was telling my mom what happened.

I'm so ready for my night out with my girls!!! I'm calling my little brother to come get me in Boston when I become legless. He just doesn't know it yet.

Tummy Time?

I've been slacking with the baby and his tummy time. I'm reminded of this every time my brother's son, who is 2 weeks older than C, rolls over. Then last night, we watched a video of my cousin's baby in Wisconsin rolling over. She's a month YOUNGER than C. So I felt like a bad Mommy.

So this morning, while M & A were eating breakfast, I left C in the living room on his daddy's big quilt surrounded by toys. He did great. Kicking, head up, lots of cooing. Then the girls finished breakfast and asked to watch TV. Set them up on the couch, told them to leave C alone. C had so much fun on his belly, he passed out! First time sleeping on his belly. Again, I told his sisters "LEAVE HIM ALONE".

Silly me left the room to call my mom. Chit chatting with my mom about my guilt of having to "pump & dump" three Saturdays in a row when I hear a high pitched scream coming from C. Well, A decided it was time for him to wake up and threw a plastic "Little People" off his head. THIS IS WHY I HAVEN'T LEFT THE POOR KID ON HIS TUMMY.

We'll try again tomorrow.

Nap time...

Quite possibly the best time of the day. But its only good if all 3 are sleeping at the same time. I put the girls down at 1 today, told them they needed good rests so we can go play with K today. Now its 1:45 and they're still in their room playing. I've already been in there twice to tell them to go to sleep. And each time I've had to remove M from A's crib. Now A is screaming "DAMN IT" and kicking the wall. I don't even want to go in there because I won't be nice. C is waking up and going to be looking for boob. And I have about 6 loads of laundry to do. Todd informed me he has no clean socks.

Welcome!

Today is my first attempt at blogging. I've decided to blog about my lovely children.

I love my children and they keep me busy. Today was no exception. We wake up between 7am & 8am every day. By 830 this morning the girls were eating breakfast, C was napping, and I was sitting at the kitchen table pumping (Yes, I'm breast feeding the baby). I'm attached to my pump and trying to enjoy a cup of coffee. A decides she is done with her oatmeal and would like to play with the pump. This does not go over well and the end result is spilled hot coffee on me, my Ipod and the floor. Thanks Al! Great way to start the morning.

About an hour later as I have now successfully finished a new cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal, C is waking up and is ready to eat. The girls are playing in the Family Room rather nicely and I haven't heard too much from them. I grab C and head for our favorite spot on the couch. When we get to the couch, it is covered in what looks like sand. After looking closer and having a few choice words for the foreign substance on my cushions, I see a box of opened orange Jell-O on the floor. After a brief inquisition, its been established that A is the culprit. Off to her crib she goes so I can clean the mess. Oh wait, but the baby is now screaming and needs to eat. So we sit in the Jell-O and I feed him. As I feed I get on the phone and beg my aunt to come rescue me. She laughs, but agrees and she is on her way.

The baby finishes, I put him in his Bumbo and I grab the vacuum. One thing I'm so happy I've done over the years is invested in a good vacuum. Put the "brush" attachment on and the clean up only takes a few minutes. A is still in her crib demanding to be let out, but I'm really mad and I can't get her yet.

Aunt J. arrives. A gets to come out of her crib. I take M and we go to the gym. MUCH NEEDED STRESS RELIEF. My girls frequent the Child Care Watch at our local YMCA. The ladies that work there are lovely and I can work out in peace. I get half a work out in when one of the woman comes into the gym looking for me. M has peed her pants. SERIOUSLY. So home we go.

And its only 1130.