What an Imagination...

Picked A from school today. Her teacher approached me and says "A had a sad face on this morning, when I asked what was wrong she said to me 'I'm just kidding myself Ms. C, I'm waiting for my teeth to grow like a vampire's, but its never going to happen.' Her imagination amazes me".

All I could was smile and wrack my brain to try and figure out what the heck she has been watching on tv.

Hi Neighbor!...

I met Troy Brown last night! We won at contest at Dad's bar, so Troy and the team from Narragansett Beer came out with lots of free stuff. I maybe went a little overboard and got my nails done and my curly hair blown out all pretty in preparation for meeting a famous person. But hey, it was worth it!

I think Dad had the most fun.

There, I said it...

Last night was so fun! Took the godmothers of my three children and my mom to PaintBar and we drank wine and painted amazing canvases. If you haven't tried it out, you should.

When painting was over we of course had to have a few more drinks before we went home. Well, by the time I got home, I was feeling pretty good and as I was putting myself to bed, C was waking up with a temp of 104. I didn't panic, my kids run high temps, its the norm for them. Poor little guy got some motrin, got to take a bath at midnight (a cold one, but he didn't seem to mind and was actually pissed at me because I didn't put bubbles in the tub) and then got to snuggle with Mommy in her bed and watch Cars 2. Mommy would have been fine with this too if she hasn't consumed about 3 too many alcoholic beverages and could barely keep her eyes open.

My facebook post at 12:35AM summed it up best..."This is the shit I hate about having kids. There, I said it."

Embarrassing Moment of the Day...

This morning I ran to Target with C & M. Just had to get "a few" things and ended up spending about $170.00, I hate it then that happens.

As we're strolling through the store, we pass the "Intimates" section. C looks, points at the bras and screams "BOOBS!" And proceeded to point and yell until the bras were out of site.

Happy 2nd Birthday C!

To Work or Not To Work...

I used to be a working mom. I used to get up 5 days a week and go to work. My daughters went to day care. My daughters are 17 months apart. When M was 20 months and A 12 weeks, we began our 6 month journey of Mommy trying to stay sane while caring for 2 babies and working full time. It was exhausting getting the 3 of us ready every day. I didn't dust my house for months. I loathed my boss and had enough of her cluelessness. But, I carried the health benefits. So I had to work. Then something amazing happened. Hubby got a new job with great benefits. We did the math over and over. If I helped out at Dad's restaurant one or two shifts a week, I could stay home. Not paying for day care was a HUGE bump in our take home income.

I've been a SAHM for just under three years. Best decision I ever made. I couldn't hack it being a working mom and applaud the women out there that can. That being said. I've read a few articles out there this week about working moms and stay at home moms. And the articles themselves are meant to be funny, and I love them. But when really irritates me is the nonsense comments from people. Being a SAHM was a choice I made. I don't ask you to judge me because of it. And I won't judge you for working everyday. Why can't people just lighten up???

Stay Home You Idiot!

M is a big girl. She's 5 and its scary. Over the weekend she told me she wanted a PB&J for lunch. I was changing a diaper or wiping a nose or something to that effect and was not moving fast enough for her. So M went to the cabinet, got the peanut butter, went to the fridge and got the jelly and then got herself one slice of bread. I'm watching her and looks up and says "I'm getting a spoon because I shouldn't use a knife." as she proceeds to get a spoon out of the utensil drawer. And then she made herself a sandwich. Sigh. But I bet if I ever ask her to repeat the act, she'll pitch a fit and claim ignorance.

SPEAKING OF IGNORANCE...went to a birthday party over the weekend for a dear friend's little girl. Lots of kids ranging from 10 weeks to 5 years (M was the oldest, again, sigh...) So much going on, it was a great afternoon. At one point A needed to use the bathroom and she has been to this house many times and knows where the bathrooms are upstairs and down. She asks permission from the party host to use the bathroom upstairs. I watch her from the bottom of the stairs as she knocks on the door. She opens the door and there is a couple (whom I don't know) in there bathing their child...odd...but whatever. I wait until the party is over to ask my friend what that was all about.

Well, turns out the child vomited all over my girlfriend's dining room and an hour before that had diarrhea all over the changing table in my friend's daughter's room. The child's father then tells the party hostess that his kid has been throwing up all week but was feeling better so they thought he was fine. So that made it OK to bring your little germ bag to party with other kids, one being 10 weeks old!!! HELLO!

So I was upset, but another girlfriend was more upset and her exact words were "If me or my kid get sick I'm going to assault these people" and then "I'm going to have my kid puke in a bowl and leave it on their front lawn" - but really we all laugh it off just secretly hoping no one gets sick.

Well, C is sick. One gross diaper change and 2 episodes of projectile vomiting before bed. FML. Thanks for bringing your sick kid to a party, IDIOT!!!

Network-Health, Not a Fan...

My hubby has been unemployed for awhile, as have a lot of people. So the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has been picking up our health insurance tab, we had a Blue Cross/Blue Shield plan, it was great.

Well, the Commonwealth has decided to switch us over to Network-Health, probably saving themselves a ton of money, which I can respect. What I don't respect is Network-Health's inability to keep up with the volume of people the Commonwealth has laid on them this week. Really NH, you didn't realize your website was going to get an increased volume of visits and maybe you should get your server ready? You didn't realize that your phones would be ringing non-stop as people try to figure out their new benefits? I've tried to call EIGHT times in the past 24 hours. The first 4 times, I got a busy signal. The 5th time I get "We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed." The 6th time, I got a very rude prerecorded message (Yes, rude, like they're annoyed with the call volume they're receiving). So I do as the message says and press 9, only to be hung up on. THANKS! The 7th & 8th times, I got "You're call cannot be completed at this time, please try again later." KISS MY ASS!

And the kicker, I have to find a new pediatrician office for the kids, Network-Health was kind enough to reassign them, and put them in THREE DIFFERENT offices. Again, THANKS! And I'm pretty sure I have to find a new OB/GYN - I was most sad about this, I love my OB, but a good friend pointed out that I can get a pap anywhere and I'm done having kids...

But again, KISS MY ASS NETWORK-HEALTH!

Oh, hey Rondo!!

Made a deal with A today. She has been bugging me to buy Apple Jacks for about 3 weeks. So today I told her if she could go 3 days without a tantrum I would take her to the grocery store and buy her Apple Jacks. She agrees. I ask her what a tantrum is, she replies "When I whine and cry and kick my legs..." Deal lasted 30 minutes, I won. Maybe 3 hours was a more realistic goal.

Then we ran some errands with Nanny. We make a stop at McDonald's drive-thru to get the kids smoothies. From McDonald's we go to the Paper Store to do some exchanging. I stay in car with kids and Nanny goes into store. CJ starts yelling "Help" from the backseat because he spills the smoothy. Wonderful. I grab the wipes, go around to the other side of the car and start cleaning him up. I had a few choice words as I'm cleaning and then I notice a gentleman waiting to get into his car, but I was kind of in the way...I look up to Rajon Rondo. Awesome. I was so embarrassed at him overhearing my annoyance of cleaning up a 2 year old, than I sheepishly smiled and ran back to the driver's seat. But really, who gives a 2 year old a smoothy??? My bad.

Where Does the Time Go...

I know I suck. I don't know why I ever stopped writing here. It was a HUGE stress relief. Kids are 18 months older since the last time I wrote. So much has changed/progressed/evolved, but I'm not going there. I'm just going to continue as if no time has passed. Although I will say that both M & A are FINALLY successfully potty trained.

Its 8:48 and they're all awake and having a party in their room. Literally. Probably has something to do with the M&M's my mom gave them at 7:45. Thanks!

Power Wheels, wicked good idea for Christmas presents. M really wanted one and that's all she asked Santa for these past few months. We break down and get her a Jeep. My parents decide to gift A & C Power Wheels as well. A got a giant 4Wheeler (honestly, the thing is amazing and I want one) C got a mini 4Wheeler that he can operate with his thumb. Christmas morning/afternoon was nice enough that everyone got to take a spin on their new toy in the backyard. All was fine and dandy until A drove hers into the pit/ditch/wooded area behind my parents house. Scraped eye and bruise on cheek for Christmas! Apparently turning/stopping/taking your foot off the pedal are not concepts a 3 year old understands. She's alive, that's all that matters.

Where has the summer gone?

Its August. I'm disgusted at the thought.

"I Wipe My Own A$$"...

One of my all time favorite movies is Big Daddy. Adam Sandler movies can be pretty corny and ridiculous, but I love Big Daddy. I love when little Frankenstein yells in court "But I wipe my own ass!"...

So this morning M has another poop issue (AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH) and I'm pumping and tell her she has to wait for me to finish before I can clean her. Well, she enlists the help of A. M sends A to get the wipes (M is on the toilet). After a few minutes, M comes running out "I did it! I wiped myself! I'm all clean!" And all I could think of was Frankenstein.

Walking Buckets...

C is 6 months old! HOLY CRAP! He is a tank, weighing in at 18.1 lbs, friggin love it! As I'm leaving the pediatrician's office with him, Todd calls...

Todd - "When you take them to the store, do they listen to you?"

Lauren - "Well, where did you take them, and did you put them in a carriage?"

Todd - "We were at Lowes, and I thought I was being nice letting them run around."

NEVER let them run around, its never a good idea. (Only time its a good idea is rainy days at the mall with other kids). Anyway, Todd is actually trying to get help from someone at Lowes because he's got a few home improvement projects to complete. He is talking to nice gentleman who gives the girls two giant buckets to sit on while they grown-ups continue their conversation. Well, Todd and the man turn around to look at something and when they turn back, the girls are gone, and the buckets have moved. And then they move again. My darlings were hiding under the buckets and running around with buckets over their heads.

A discovered a diving board today. Good times. After watching her little sister master it, M decided she liked the diving board too. Oh man.

My MAC is pissing me off

I've been trying to upload videos for 2 days. My MAC is being a bitch for the first time ever and not allowing me to do so. The little thing on the bottom keeps jumping up & down telling I need upgrades. However, that requires a password and I have NO IDEA how to go about that. Great.

Tonight at dinner I finally just turned my head, looked out the window and laughed because of the insanity surrounding me. C was sitting in his bumbo covered in sweet potatoes but smiling away. A was again throwing her food on the floor and refusing to eat it. M was attempting to lick the edges of the butter dish and Todd says to her "I am way past my thresh hold for stupidity tonight, knock it off" as he moved the dish away from her - thats when I lost it. Then A ended up under the table talking to herself "Bad Daddy, moving the butter..." as she is coloring the power cord to the MAC.

I only choked on my food once from laughter.

Its been awhile...

So we've had a busy couple of weeks.

Lots of time spent in Manomet. Lots of cuts and scrapes on the kiddos feet and legs because of rocks on the beach.

A has decided she would like to get serious with the potty training. My lazy ass just has to commit to it.

C has decided he will no longer sleep through the night. I thought he was just hungry. Started feeding him food (he loves sweet potato) however, he is still getting up twice every night. Great.

M still won't poop. I have no words because none of them are nice.

Todd & I went back to Colorado and had a great time with some old friends. Denver is awesome and I wish there was an ocean there and my family was closer so we could live there.

We've decided to hire a realtor/stager and put the house on the market. We're going to keep our fingers crossed, sell this little house, and then move in with Linda & Paul while we find what we need...

She's so sweet...

A was having a serious nightmare last night. I flew out of my bed so fast. Oh the screeching! Todd beat me to her and was cuddling her and trying to calm her down. She was crying and telling us she was scared. So M pipes up from her bed "Don't be scared, I'll protect you..."

Sometimes the things they say...

Big Sister Helping Out!

Thank A!

Just sit...

* WARNING THIS POST IS ALL ABOUT BOWEL MOVEMENTS...

My 3 year old who refuses to poop on the potty has soiled 5 pairs of panties in the last 36 hours because she tries to hold it in. So by forcing herself to hold it in, she squeezes out quarter sized pieces of SH*T. Its driving me mad. So about 30 minutes ago, she is supposed to be napping and she comes out and says "I pooped". When I realized she was talking about a piece that squeezed out, I told her she had to sit on the potty until the big stuff came out.

She didn't like this idea. She was mad at me and was on the toilet basically telling me to take a hike. So I went for the suppository. She needed it, there was clearly a brick up there trying to get out. So I give her the suppository and put her back on the toilet. She was PISSED. Screaming at me, sobbing, you would have thought her dog died (she doesn't have a dog). I told her to relax and let the poop out because if she poops on the potty she would get a toy. She told me she didn't want a toy.

Poor thing was trying to fight the suppository. I shut the bathroom door and left her alone because if I stayed I would have been laughing in her face. She was yelling "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" as the suppository was clearly starting to work. And she kept on yelling as she tried to fight it. SOBBING & YELLING. YELLING & SOBBING. And then LAUGHTER. Like excited laughter.

"Mommy! I did it! I pooped on the potty!"

Me - "Great!" and I went in for a high five. Then asked her if she thought she could do that every time.

M - "No"

Then she went to her room to get a new pair on panties and came running back to the bathroom because the suppository wasn't done yet. Poor thing had poop running down her legs and I had to clean it. My own fault, I gave her the damn suppository.

Breakfast time...

...Went something like this...

A: "I want Krispies!"
M: "Me too!"
Mommy: "OK"
A: "I want Krispies NOW MOMMY!"

Mommy proceeds to make 2 bowls of cereal...

M: "I want the pink bowl!"
A: "I WANT KRISPIES NOW MOMMY!"

Mommy brings bowls to table.

A: "NO! You can't eat with me!" as she hurls the pink bowl across the room and Krispies go flying everywhere.

Its 6:41PM...

...and I'm still in my pajamas.

When will we be healthy...

We spent Monday night at the beach. Since kids were sick we knew we wouldn't be going to preschool Tuesday morning and I was exhausted and was not about to drive home in traffic Monday night.

Monday night was a little better than both Saturday and Sunday night. No one was up sick, but M had a few nightmares. Waking up screaming scaring the crap out of me and my parents. My mom and I tag teamed the first nightmare and my dad handled the second one.

Tuesday morning A wakes up with a fever. Fine. Gave her motrin, cleaned up the cottage and started to drive home. 20 minutes into our trip A is in the back seat moaning and whining complaining about her tummy hurting. I thought we were going to have more vomiting so I pulled over and took her out. When I took her out she was trembling, just shaking and shaking, a bit odd. I was nervous, called the pediatrician and they assured me it was just her body fighting off the fever. Put her back in the car and kept driving and she kept whining.

Got home and took her out of the car and she was on fire, temp was up to 103.9 - called the pediatrician again and got an appointment. Then I realized I left M's eye medicine at the beach. Awesome. Had the hubby call the pediatrician because I didn't want to call again. They sent in another prescription.

Took A to the doctor, they took blood and put a cath in and got a urine sample. If you know A, you know it took 3 of us to hold her down. Left the doctor and drove to CVS to pick up M's medicine and the pharmacist won't give it to me because the system shows they filled it the day before. I had to explain I was an idiot and left it at the beach house. She explained to me she had to call the insurance company and get the override approved, I told her I'd be back.

Pharmacist called me an hour later to inform me that my insurance company doesn't cover "lost prescriptions" - good to know. However if I have AAA I can get a discount on the meds when paying out of pocket. So we go back, we go through the drive through and C is screaming the whole time. I hand the gentleman my flex spending card and my AAA card and he charges me full price. I immediately ask why as I was told over the phone if I presented my AAA card I would get a discount. He looks at me and asks "Do you have a AAA card?" ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU STUPID ASS! I smiled and said "You're kidding right? I just handed it to you, did you even look at it?" I got an apology and it took him about 10 minutes to figure everything out. Mind you there are 4 cars behind me and we're in the middle of a thunder storm and C is still screaming.

A was back up to 103.7 by 6PM and again at 1AM but she seems good this morning and will not let me go near her with the thermometer. Maybe I should buy a second one to take oral temps.